Lessons from Obituaries

In remembering the departed, the living found a renewed commitment to balance, compassion, and self-preservation

Published by Johnson Babalola on 2024-06-07
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In a small town where the sun painted the horizon in hues of orange and gold, the community gathered to honour the lives of three remarkable individuals: Leon, Aunty, and May.

The old church, with its soaring ceilings and stained-glass windows, provided a solemn backdrop as friends and family came together to celebrate lives that had touched many and to reflect on the lessons left behind.

First to speak was Thomas, Leon's longtime colleague. He stood at the podium, eyes misty with tears but voice steady, as he recounted Leon's unwavering dedication to his work.

"Leon was our best worker. He never took a day off, even while ill," Thomas began, his voice reverberating through the quiet hall. "He was the embodiment of commitment and hard work. Yet, in his determination, he often neglected his health. We admired him, but we must learn from his example to take care of ourselves too. As the saying goes, "Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live."

Next, young Sarah stepped forward to speak about her beloved Aunty, a pillar of strength in their family. Her voice was soft but carried the weight of countless memories.

 "Aunty was always there for us. Come rain or shine, she would not rest unless we were okay," Sarah said, her words, a reminder of selflessness. Her love was boundless, but it came at a cost to her well-being. We must remember that to be there for others, we must first take care of ourselves. "You can't pour from an empty cup,' as the adage goes."

The final eulogy was given by Emily, who spoke of her dear friend May, whose spirit of generosity shone even in her darkest days.

Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel

"Even while battling a serious ailment, May singlehandedly organized my mum's birthday party without a rest. I will miss her deeply," Emily shared, her voice trembling with emotion. "May's heart was vast, but she often forgot to give herself the care she deserved. We must heed her lesson: 'Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.'"

As the speeches concluded, the pastor rose to offer words of wisdom and encouragement to the congregation. His voice, gentle yet firm, filled the room with a sense of purpose.

"Today, we celebrate the lives of Leon, Aunty, and May, who gave so much to all of us," he began. "Their stories teach us the importance of balance. We must strive to be there for our loved ones, but we must also ensure we are there for ourselves. Remember, 'The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.' Take time to rest, to heal, and to live fully. Let their lives be a testament to the beauty of selfless love and the necessity of self-care."

As the service ended, the community left with heavy hearts but lighter spirits, each person carrying with them a piece of wisdom from the departed. They had learned that while it is noble to give of oneself, it is equally important to preserve one's health and well-being.

The eulogies of Leon, Aunty, and May highlighted an important truth: the balance between selflessness and self-care. Their lives were filled with acts of love and dedication, yet their stories also served as reminders that to genuinely care for others, one must not neglect oneself. The words spoken at their funerals encouraged the living to honor their memories by practicing self-care, ensuring they can continue to be there for their loved ones without sacrificing their health. In remembering the departed, the living found a renewed commitment to balance, compassion, and self-preservation.

 

Johnson Babalola is a Canada-based lawyer, leadership consultant, and public affairs.

www.johnsonbabalola.com